Club Mileage
The presidency. Power. Authority. I’m in my element.
Club mileage, no doubt accruing for someone as you read this, is in question. Are those great big numbers really valid? I mean, one of our club members is closing in on 300,000 club miles. WHAT?
Let’s ensure that member mileage is accurate: ✎
- Random drug tests. The top 50 mileage earners will be subject to random drug testing to determine if their mileage is earned naturally or with performance enhancers. Come on, don’t you wonder how men and women in their 60’s, 70’s, even 80’s ride so far and so often?
- Prescription drug research. HIPAA-Shmipaa. What drugs are you taking, and what are the side effects? Are THEY enhancing your mileage capabilities? We plan to find out.
- Verification. We are working with a local tech company to develop a tracking device, similar to something you might use for your luggage, which PBC will have implanted under your skin to track your actual club mileage. Another perk of club membership.
- Credit only for ACTUAL MILES. That’s right, out with the creative math of rounding up a mile for an inch. And you can stop the “surveys” of the other riders after the ride to find the one who has the most mileage. See “Verification” above.
I DEMAND accuracy!
Thank you for your compliance. We will be stopping by soon for your sample.
😁😆😂🤣
Ann Morrow, President